I'm in love.

Sadly still with you.

Over the past few months I've gone into reckless relationships, anything to drown out the memory of you.
Convinced myself I'd fallen for this guy who was becoming my new best friend, let myself open up to him, only to watch him screw me over. Wierdly after the initial hurt of a couple of days, it didn't bother me too much. It took that for me to realise I was reliving our friendship through him, doing all the things we did with him, in hope I'd somehow stop missing you.
now is the time to admint it, I love you Christopher Smith, I have done so for the past 4 years and will probably carrying on doing so. Its nearly a year since everything fell apart for us, since you told me you were going to pick her over me, and I'd really hope I'd have grown enough as a person to forget you, to let go off these feelings.
But I guess, unfortunatly for me, you were the one.

this is the first time I've admitted that in writing thats public.