Life is hard

9/19/11
Hey guys this is like a venting thing for me i have had a lot of stuff going on and i need to get it off my chest. I will try to add a new entry everyday but no promises because of my schedule...
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Mood- Alone

Well a week ago my parents and my best friends mom got into a really bad fight. With them it was always like walking on egg shells and this time everything exploded. My best friend and i are not to speak or hang out anymore :'( but when i think about it she never was a good friend i was blind thinking she was. she never cared i was stupid and pushed everyone that cared away I'm such a better person when she is gone but now i have to deal with her at school still. Me and my family are moving this summer but I'm scared from going from a small town to a huge city. I have lived in a small town my whole life then to get thrown into a big city when I'm getting ready to go into high school and drive its nerve wreaking. My old friends are helping me get through this and this whole time they stood by my side no matter what i did. I have made A LOT of mistakes this past year... Like i lost my job it was like i shut down i wasn't me and people noticed. My own family didn't want to deal with me.

I'm trying to get back on track through i will be going back to work luckily Yay! i cant wait but now i have to start at the bottom with the dogs regaining their trust. My boss has like 16 dogs i think it is and she runs a dog grooming business. Anyways the dogs are like a pack and her 2 bloodhounds are like the alphas. They trusted me i could do anything around them without them being on edge but now that i left for a while I'm afraid that they are not going to accept me back. And i have to try and gain back trust with my boss and her husband.

God i made so many mistakes :'( then today at lunch i was sitting with my friends then my ex-best friend and her new best friends just happen to sit right next to us. So it was VERY awkward and i tried to ignore her but its hard when we were friends What would u do in that situation?
Then the best part of all this is she shoots me dirty looks all the time and it bugs the living sh*t out of my! After i tried to explain everything she treats me like the dirt on the bottom of her shoes. She gave me a note to explain everything A NOTE! as i read it i burst into tears in science. I dint like to cry in school and i normally dint because everyone freaks out asking whats wrong what happened? Then b4 u know it everyone in the whole school knows.

Anyways i gave her a note back and NOTHING not a tear not an emotion shown and it was like a stab in the heart. What should i do to get through this do u guys have any advice??

~a7xloverfoREVer out <3