From one side to the other.

My best friend is moving to California in 6 months at the most. It scares me. It hurts. I mean, I want her to be happy. No question about that. I just... I don't wanna see her leave. She's going to be on the other side of the country. What if she has another breakdown again? What is gonna happen? I've never been good with goodbye. And I know it'll be hard. My dad lives 1000 miles away from me. That kills me. Now I have to be a billion miles away from her.
It's messing with me. My automatic response is to close off and try to distance myself from her but I'm going to try not to do that. I hope it's the right decision. Because my home will be half way empty now. I can't see her anymore. She's the reason I'm able to wake up in the morning and get on with the day. I don't want her to feel bad because I know she misses California. I know she does. And I want her to be happy. I love seeing her smile. So I'm going to let her go. I don't want to but I don't have any other choice.
I just hope I get to see her again... Because I love her. Her and her brother are all I seem to have lately. I'm gonna have to talk to her every day (like that'd be any different than now). I'll just have to make this work. For her. For me. For us. It'll just be a bit difficult. But I can do it.