Today.

Today was just...diffcult. I enjoyed myself, had my laughs on my own time, but that made it all the more difficult. Everyday I wake up, feeling the same. I wake up knowing two things, "I still live here." That is the first thought that enters my head. The same four walls that refrain me from achieving what I want most to achieve. The second thought, "I'm still the same", is the one that upsets me the most. Waking up in the morning knowing my physique has not changed and that I have not changed. I go to school, only to be tired out even further. It is becoming very possible that I am becoming an insomniac, which is definetly not good, I can't afford to have insomnia right now. I talk to my friend Zeek, he's pre-occupied with a game, so we do not talk much. When we do, we get into an argument over something stupid and I shut him out. I notice i've been doing that often. I shut people out quite frequently when they begin to stress me out. The crazy thing is, if I shut them out , I get stressed out even more because I feel like an asshole. Im sick of compating myself to other people. I feel inferior around my friends most of the time, mostly because they have something going for them right now and I dont. I try not to think about it too much, I mean, it isn't my fault my friends are stronger and luckier than I am. I dont blame luck. I'll get what I want, I just have to have some patience. Mom gets home. I dont understand why when I tell people my moms voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me, they laugh. I'm not joking when I say that. Alwell. She lives her too, right? I shut myself away in my room and then I finally feel a little better. The entire day just passed me by, just a big ball of frustration and boredom. Yep, today is just another day of the week.