Note to self:

You will never amount to anything. I mean, you're own family insults you, constantly. You have no talent, nothing out of the ordinary, you're not smart, you can't focus, you suck at every thing you try, you get yelled at, you do things wrong, you mess up, you aren't religious, you started treating your friends like crap because you couldn't take it anymore. You will never be somebody. You will amount to nothing. Friendless, no family, nothing. Honestly, all you have, is your boyfriend. Now I'm not saying you love him or anything, because lying is bad &you do enough bad things, you don't love him, but you know you have the potential. &Right now, he's the ONLY motivation/hope you have to continue with every thing. He keeps your head up & gives you advice. So why aren't you happy? Why can't you just be happy like every other person you see? Why can't you at least fake it? I don't understand why you're so stupid and can't even do that. Every one looks down on you because they know you're not a good person & have no potential to do anything. Nobody loves you. You don't even love you. You won't give up on life, you choose to be miserable. It's your fault that you feel this way.