Ranting, and My Messed Up Mind

So, for the ranting part.
Well, I'm pretty alone in college I guess. I like my college. I don't really like my classes right now, and I do have friends, but, I just feel, alone. I'm a very different person than anyone else I know, except for my best friend, and she's 2 1/2 hours away, so that's probably where part of this is coming from. She's like my sister, and I'm not used to being away from her like this.
I'm the type of person to go and drive through the countryside, Danger Days blaring from the speaker, smoking a Cheyenne. But everyone just wants to party. I'm not really much of a people person. I go to my fair share of parties, and hang out with my friends everyday, but I like me time too. And I don't really get that here in college. Which I hate.
Last night, all I wanted to do was write some, and eat soup while cuddling up in my bed. What my night turned into was listening to The Black Parade AND Danger Days full blast on my iPod, scowling at my laptop, while my roommate spoke her annoying whiny Spanish to her boyfriend and blasted Christina Aguilera. Also, the girl next door who I hate flung herself into my bed and sprawled out, using my pillow. Not that she even asked. She does ask if she can eat my food though. But I never let her. I do like my roommate, but there are some nights where she really gets on my nerves. Also, my hall is very loud and ghetto, and blast straight up club music til one in the morning. Which I don't appreciate seeing as how I have to get up at seven.
Now for my messed up mind.
Anyway, I spend a good time alone, by myself, me, myself, and I. Just writing. Or reading. Or staring at pictures of Mikey. Or listening to MCR. Or playing my acoustic or bass. This is where the pathetic part comes in I guess. I'm probably too obsessed with MCR and Mikey for my own good. But that's whatever. And just because I dress like Mikey and drink Coke Zero everyday doesn't make me weird. Or does it?
And that's where the whole other part of my messed up mind comes into play. So I like androgyny. And maybe I'm attracted to girls. And I guess I am..very..obsessed with Mikey. But that's just because he's amazingly talented, and he's been my idol since I was 12. So is it weird that I model my dream guy after him? Or girl. Whoever I see that I'm attracted to?
And there's the other part. I desperately want to find love. Seriously. That's all I want. Maybe that's all anybody ever wants. But I crave it like I crave my Coke Zero. I'm constantly on the look out for potential partners. So I guess I'm a bit of a creep. But I just want someone to fall in love with. And it's making me very depressed. I want a total romance, out of the blue, story line love. Like, ya know...girl (me) meets boy/girl, they go on dates, all the meanwhile falling head over heels for each other, and then finally, when they can't suppress their feelings anymore, they tell each other "I love you". Is that so hard to find? Apparently. Because I can't find it. At all. And I've tried. Trust me.

So, I guess that's it. I don't really have anyone to talk to, so I wrote this. And I feel a little bit better, but I still don't feel like I fully explained myself. To sum it all up I guess, I'm sick of everyone at college, I want to find love, and I'm obsessed with Mikey Way. Oh. And I want to find love.