Living alone (and failing terribly at it).

So a few months ago I was kicked out of home and essentially disowned by my mother, and since then I've been couch surfing/live with friends/being a general mooch. I've just now managed to sort my benefits out (thank god for that), which means I have money, so I'm now renting a room in someone's house.

I am in essence living alone, seeing as I rarely see the other two people here, I feed myself, clean up after myself, wash my own shit, etc.

I've been here less than a week, and I've already realised I'm monumentally crap at it. Money definitely does not go as far as anybody think it does, everything is expensive as hell, washing machines make my brain hurt and dear god trying to feed myself is a nightmare.

I've fallen back into disordered eating already and with nobody here to make me eat, I can see things going the nasty way they did last time. I'm trying to not be that person anymore, though.

That and it's so goddamn lonely, like you wouldn't believe. As much as it was cramped and I had no stuff or space, I miss sleeping on sofas, I at least then was with people I was friends with/vaguely knew. Now I just hide out in my room all the time (even though I'm allowed to go whereever I please in the house) because I'm socially awkward and I just don't want to see people I don't know.

Arhgegerfhbfe. It's hard. Really hard. Being an adult is absolutely terrifying.
October 5th, 2011 at 07:05pm