I can so relate to... Dont Speak, No Doubt

It hurts to know that the friendship I had with her has ended. It hurts whenever I pass her in the halls, and we just stare at each other, like we weren't best friends until a month ago. It hurts. It hurts how fast I was replaced. It hurts so much. I know it shouldn't hurt as much as it hurts. I know I shouldn't have allowed myself to get close. Nothing good ever happens to me. Nothing. And when something good does happen to me, it never manages to stay for long. Never ever. I am just not that lucky. So, I lost her to the crowd. Now, I am alone, yet not alone.

I have my family, but they don't even know what has happened. They dont know that the best friend I told them about is no longer my best friend, and how her, along with my replacement, bullied me last Saturday on Facebook. My parents don't know that on September 12th(which was the day I turned 16), that all of this drama started, they dont know that I cried in the shower on my Birthday and last Saturday. They dont know how I stood there in the shower, the water hitting my face, and then without warning, broke down, sliding down the shower wall in tears. They don't know. They think the reason I dont want to eat is just me being picky -- they dont know that I am just too depressed to eat. I have lost the urge to even eat. Life as I live it is too painful.

I am so lost in this large world, and I just don't know where to turn to anymore. I feel like I am falling down this deep dark hole, trying to grip onto a branch, only to find that there are no branches to hang from. A never ending hole filled with pain and hate. I can't escape it. Wherever I am. I cant. Escape it.

This is why I don't trust people. When I let myself open up to them, tell them things that I would never tell just anyone, they ALWAYS end up using it against me. ALWAYS. No exceptions! I can't even talk about this with friends cause I CANT trust them not to open their mouths in front of the people, who are the cause of my pain and frustration. GOD DAMNIT! I'm 16! Life ISNT supposed to be this stressful!

**CRIES**