Love sucks.

What is it that matters to me? Do I care if you treat me like your everything? Not really. All I want from you is respect and love. That's all I ask. To be perfectly honest, all that does matter to me is making you happy. I'll do whatever it takes, nothing could make me happier. I'll treat you with the utmost respect, like a princess. I'll never do anything to make you mad, sad, upset or anything else, at least I won't try. See, I was raised in a mostly female family from a very young age, I know how to treat a girl, I know what makes them happy and what sets them off. I know what to do. Am I perfect? Not in the least. But, do I try as much as I can to be perfect? You bet I do. I do what ever it takes, at any cost. I'll go out of my way to say the nicest things, just to make you smile. That's what I'm for, I don't care about anything else.

I can also be your worst enemy, I can hurt you. I only will if you hurt me first, I'd never openly hurt anybody, especially a girl. I've never done anything to hurt a girl, I've never even broke up with them. I've stuck it out as long as possible, until the very end. Of course, that's not a good habit. That always got me hurt in end. I feel like I get used for how nice I am, girls always say that's what they want, but they never wanted me until they were hurt and I comforted them. Maybe it was just a moment of weakness, and they only wanted me because I was the only one there for them. I don't know, but it hurts. That feeling of being used. That feeling that maybe being nice isn't as good as I thought. Maybe I need to be a little, ruder? Being nice bores them? I have no idea, I don't think I ever will.

All I know is what I've done in the past worked for the most part, not that I've ever had a serious relationship. The only serious ones were "online/long distance", I mean does that make me a loser? Maybe, I always wanted to visit them, take it past some silly online thing, but it never got that far. I am incredibly shy face to face, that's the only reason I ever did those type of relationships. That and, well I'm not exactly a "popular" guy around town. No girl will ever talk to me, I'm kidding myself by even trying to flirt with them. I don't mean to sound like I'm down on myself, and have self confidence issues, I do but that's beside the point.

I don't know why I'm writing this, I was thinking about it all night. I was going to write it out on paper first, but I'd rather it be random and from my heart than scripted. I was going to include some extremely sexual things in here at the beginning, about what I want done and everything, but that would be pointless and stupid. I don't know, I think I'll end this soon, don't want to carry on. In the end, I just had a lot to get off my chest, and had a lot to say.