The Beginning of an End

Well, I decided to start journaling about random stuff because I have alot of things to say and know one knows I do. I mean, no one knows me. Just as many people, Im just a no body. Im a no body now, and I guarantee in 10 years...I'll still be a nobody.

I always had plans of being someone when I was little. I wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, a football player, a dancer (Ballet is awesome), a dectetive, and so forth. Not anymore.

Im going to be a father. (Sarcastic Yay). Im only 17, and im not ready for this yet; But writing helps me cool down. Ive been writing since I was 12, and when I do, I feel a sense of relaxation.

I was hoping the test would be negative. We both were. She was a 4.0 student and I was the boy her parents warned her about I assume. The way they look at me sometimes says it all.

"We told you about him *******!"

"What about college *******, now that your knocked up by this prick your life is ruined!"

Well.... no one asked me about how I felt. Which was fine.

I dont have the best life in the world, and I know I dont. I use too though. When I complained ,those was the best years of my life.

Complained about school, life, money, friends, relationships, the color of the shirt my mom picked out for me, and made me wear to school. Those were the days.

Now that my complaints are serious, this is the end of the beginning of the life I once had.

I barely have friends now, being stuck in a home I was forced into. My pregnant girlfriend is due in just 1-2 weeks and my life is dipping down. Im already losing sleep, and there's no baby present yet. I assumed it's because Im kept by nightmares of even having a kid.

Constant crying, begging, pleading. Im even scared of a kid pretending me to call me 'dad'.

So, I guess im only waiting for the end/beginning to start