Holy Jeebus.

Wow..

This is insane.

Well I'm back home now. I was with my friend John, living with him for almost a month helping around the house and with his sister. She's handicap. She has something called fredricks disease, cystic fibrosis, and several other things. Now, she's in cardiac failure. So it's been pretty tough. Each day she looks worse. I look at her and all I can think is, Why? She's so beautiful. So precious...I don't understand it. I suppose "he" takes the best...She calls me here best friend. She tells me about how she doesn't have any friends cause of her disease. It kills me to watch her. Regardless of how much it hurts, i'm by her side. It makes her upset to talk about me leaving though. Moving I mean. Hell, She didn't like it when I would go out for a couple hours. She was always asking her brother where I was, If I was ok, When I was coming home.

Paul and I are going strong. He's precious. I did break up with him for a few days because I was so stressed...I was overwhelmed, and I felt like I was suffocating. I realized though that It was hard to do anything without him. I don't know. We still talked everyday after we broke up. And now...I'm moving back to Cali. Hopefully, most likely, next week. I'll be living with my mom, working on gettin' two jobs, and spending as much time as possible with Paul. We are already planning so many Trips. Like a pier 39 day(: A day to Monterey(: When he picks me up from the airport he is taking me to this little town called Half Moon Bay. And we are gonna go to this little secluded beach. I'm really excited and happy.

Oh, And I'm finally officially quitting smoking weed. I promised Gingy that I would. Well we pinky squared it. My friendship and love for her means more to me than some drug. And I mean hellll, I love smoking lol.

God...This is insane. I feel like moving is a fresh start. Time to make everyone proud, and actually do something. A time to get my shit together. To be happy. I'm not sure. I know I'll be building my relationship back up with my mom, and my sister, and I'll be starting my life with Paul.<3

Let the change...begin.