Fight..

O have to fight with myself on a daily basis to not give in.. i am so in love and nothing happens for me.. I have to cry myself to sleep at night wishing i had the things i want in life.. wishing the chances were never stolen from me.. I watch as those around me smile with true happiness.. while those that have hearts so cold have a chance to have someone love them completely or the chance to be the best parent they can be... I get into these shitty little moods where all i wanna do is sit and listen to the songs that make my heart cry wishing i could have someone show me so much love. i give up at times.. turn and walk away from the things i know i want because they're all just wishes and thoughts.. as hes said before i need to accept reality and stop living in dreams.. so i guess thats what i need to learn to do.. he gives off so many twisted signals and just makes me hurt even more because im trying to be strong and dont want to say what i should say because i know what he would do.. all men do it.. you give them the things they once wanted back and they run from it.. well time to stop giving.. time to try and wish to receive.. but wishes can only go so far..