This is what "love" did to me ...

I do not think I'm beautiful
I do not think I'm sexy
I think I am poison
and this is why

i was with a guy , the first 2 month started ok. but then he started telling my not to go out in skirts , then he told me not to go out in makeup , then he told me I couldn't talk to some of my friends because he didn't like them. then 4 months into the relationship he told me to delete one of my friends , I didn't so we had a fight. i still didn't so he threatened my friend then i did and he started accusing me of sleeping around... I hadn't been.
by 5 months I was friend less and self harming. I drank every day just to get through it and Id lost a lot of weight . then he checked my face book...
He started pinning me to the bed and screaming in my face , shaking me , backing me into corners and threatening to have me killed. then his texts became bad. he started calling me a slut and a whore , telling me I was a fat waist of space and i should just go and die. Finlay after I found out he cheated one me over ten times i ended things .
the next day I met the guy I'm with now , we've known each other 9 months and been going out for 3 but it was we loved another when we got to know each other ) I love him to bits and he knows all the pain I've gone through. but he'll call me beautiful and I won't believe him but he treats me with respect and I love him with all my heart, so yes some times there can be happy ending but I'm just afraid to mess things up with him. I'm still self harming a little but he's helping me through it. I'm living and now I'm smiling more and more but I still feel ugly and poison and some days so sad that I feel I have no hope but slowly it's getting better.
*a message to people in an abusive relationship, it gets better it may not feel it but it will do*
xxx