why do moments like this have to exist?

There's this boy in my Law class named Francisco. Well, everytime he walks by me, he'll like touch my back or grab my hand or something. To be honest, it doesn't bother me or anything because he's actually pretty nice. He'll even sit with me for a few minutes before class starts and talk.

Well today he like grabbed my hand while I was trying to do my Physics work. And for the first time, I decided to 'reciprocate my feelings' or whatever, and I tried grabbing his hand but.... I did it with my right hand and I accidentally stabbed him with my pencil.

Oh man, I'm feeling just super awkward typing that.

And then Francisco was all like 'You stabbed me with your pencil' and I was like 'Deal with it' even though I felt sorta bad, lol.

Why do things like this happen to me?! And then in that exact class, my teacher decided to use my name in an example and I felt like she said my name a million times (pronounced wrongly, may I add) and my ~anxiety or whatever kicked in and I started blushing like mad. I'm not trying to be funny or anything, but I seriously have bad blushing problems. There's a name for it, but it has slipped my mind completely. Anyway, my teacher kept talking and I almost started sweating, my stomach was doing flips, and I could feel my face burning. Just because she said my name in an example; why would this make me feel like that? Then when she paused for like a second, I heard some kid say 'red like a tomato' and then I got worried because what if he was talking about me?

I'm just not cut out for social interactions sometimes. =/ I dunno.

October 26th, 2011 at 03:35am