The Night I Couldn't Shed a Single Tear...

It was the final night of my Marching Band season. With being a senior and winning first place in class, I was filled with joy, but for my friends, their hearts shattered because it was my last show with them. Mine also too shattered but I was so happy to finally be done with it. I wanted to cry my eyes out so much when I saw my friends and my daughter was having the worst time ever and I had know idea on what to do.

Later that night, I was riding the bus home with my friends and everyone was happy or at least okay. I was talking with my eskimo and she is the daughter I love to death and my other friend Morgana (that's not her real name, but I'll go by it). We were talking and the reason I couldn't shed a single tear is because I want to stay strong and I wasn't feeling good about myself that night.

As we were on the way home, we all three talked about our times in Marching Band and I came to the conclusion that in Marching Band, I'm only there for support and nothing else. My life is to please others and I feel as if I could not accomplish that goal. I feel like that I'm there only to push the stars to the sky and let the best marchers be noticed than me. I have been told that without me there would be no band, and I realized that it's true...without me there would be no Narcissus Silver.

I feel like I must live behind a mask. Everywhere I go I wear a bird skull mask. The mask that the fictional character "Bellatrix Lestrange" wore in the famous movies "Harry Potter". I am a big fan of Bellatrix but that's not the major reason I wear it. I wear the necklace because I feel like I cannot reveal myself to the world. I feel like if I remove the mask, I will be treated as nothing and become a ghost of hatred.

My one dream is to live in a world where I can be free. Where everywhere I walk, roses and daisies blossom with life and the sun rises bright over the field of joy and the moon soars majestically in the sky with stars. I want to be in a world where I can hold anyone's hand, guy or girl. I accept those who are of different orientations and I want that place to be free for them to live in and for me to aswell. I want a world where I can go up to someone and hug them for being who they are and hold their hand through the dark times in their lives. That is my world that I want and I know that greedy people never get what they want, but for me, I need it...

That is what happened on the night that I couldn't shed a single tear...