The Loner...

I can’t.
I’ve always know that I’ve been different, and I’ve always been okay with it. I’ve found friends who are different like me and we’re the group that just doesn’t fit in anywhere else. We had fun. Until everyone became swarmed with new people and new experiences. Now, they’ve developed a whole new group. Everyone in it is wonderful. We’re all wonderfully strange and we like to have fun. But guess what? Even though my best friends, who are exactly like me, are part of this group, I don’t fit in. I don’t even think I’m really part of it. There’s a lot of people in it that I’d like to get to know, but they’ve made it rather clear that they don’t want to do the same. My friends always ask if I want to join in on whatever it is they’re doing, and lately I’ve just been turning it down. I don’t know how to act, I don’t know what they’ll think of me. And it’s so damn wrong because everyone there is all about being yourself. And yet when I’m myself around them I feel like I belong a million miles away. Why do I suddenly not fit in with the people I once though of as my sisters? Why am I being left alone? Why can’t I be good enough for anyone, boy or girl? It hurts so bad…soon enough my friends will be inseparable from the rest of the group, and I’ll have no one…and I’ll never meet people as good as they are to me. But I’m losing them. I can feel it.

I mean, I’ve already been convinced that I’ll die alone, because of a ton of crap that’s happened recently, and...it’s hard to explain. But now it looks like I’ll be forever alone in other ways too…

I’m sorry. Just needed to say it.