France/school/whatahotmess

Since I've been in France so much has happened, and its been less then three months. I've arrived, been hosted by a family, started school, sort of made fiends, been rejected by my host family- and forced to leave the few friends I've made.

I am now starting over. I am in a new house- with people who are so kind- and they want me to stay. And now next week I start a new school. With all new classes, and new kids and ohmygod am I scared.

I did it once. yeah- I did it once and it wasn't fun and it hurt I was so lonely. And I don't want to do that again. It took me two months to get a system- but I had one. I had kids I knew and I liked and I miss them- they went out of there way to talk to the American girl. The girl who never knew what was going on or where she was supposed to be and looked stupid 90% of the time- and I hope I never forget them.

And so I am scared and I am starting another French school and I don't want to be alone any more. I can so alone- but alone is lonely and it start to get to you after a while.

And here I am rambling on about it online- but where else am I going to ramble- I'm in France.

Still- I'm happy. I love the family I'm with they are so kind- so different from the first family- and now on to my hot mess.

I knew it was a bad idea before I started to write it- but it wouldn't go away. And after running around my brain since mid-july I figured that if I tried to write it it'd go away- like all my good ideas do. No such luck and so now I have almost 13 thousand words of Glee meets band fic and have no idea what to do with it.

Yes. I know BAD IDEA! And yet its such a good love story- that I couldn't not write it. (ooo awkward sentence!)

Well it would be a good love story if you pretend that its not an awful idea- ect.

But its fun to read- and the dialogue is fun to write and now I'm thinking about posting it somewhere ( ie. here) just so I can do something with it. And maybe I'm crazy, but maybe its decent and maybe someone other then me will find it amusing.

And that I think it where I will leave it- I have more hot mess to write and I've got a school to look at tomorrow- and I drank way to much tea am so not going to be able to sleep.

But before I go I ask: should I publish my hot mess?

that is all. The end.