I keep my secrets tucked far away from the world's view.

There have been so many things on my mind lately...and I don't know what to do about any of them. I really want to tell my famliy that I have been suicidal, and that I used to cut...but I don't want them to think less of me. I am absolutely terrified of telling them. But I think they deserve to know.
I'm just afraid that everyone will treat me different, and that I may even lose the trust of a few people. My grandmother was raised catholic and I don't want to have her lecture me for the next three year, because that is the kind of woman that she is. I guess, I am afraid of being judged by the people I live and care about the most...honestly, they are the reasons that I never had the guts to commit suicide. I didn't think it was fair to leave them with so many unanswered questions, and I didn't want to put such a burden on my mother.