I need to stop this.

I need to stop lying to people about things, just because i don't want them to know. People know I'm lying to them, and it just makes things worse. I just don't want people to know some things. Some people, I just don't want to tell them everything. Maybe I don't trust them, or telling them is pointless, and I know I should just tell them that that's the reason, but they just get mad at me. So I figure it's better to just lie to people. I mean, it's not like it's lying about important things. It's only lying about silly things, that will end up going away.

I feel like such a hypocrite. I hate being lied to, almost more than anything. I can't stand it when people lie to me, but sometimes I just can't help it, and now I sound like a f*cking idiot.

I shouldn't care, I really f*cking shouldn't. But I have Scott going on at me constantly, and I wish he would make up his f*cking mind. One minute he's going on at me about other girls, and how they "act weird" to try and make me jealous (which does not work) then he's going on at me about how it's weird that I don't like him any more, and how he'll never get anyone to like him. The way he talks, he makes it sound like it's my fault that girls don't like him. Like it's my fault that he was a massive d*ckhead and I stopped liking him. It's not my fault. Nothing that happens to him is my fault, he really needs to get over it.

I also think I like his best friend, and I'm lying to myself about it. I lied to Scott about it too, I guess that's understandable though, lying to him about it. I don't wanna start something between them two, because he gets mad that his friend just talks to me. Let alone me liking him, and vice-versa.

There's another guy too. Oh my God, what am I?
I started talking to him last year, and he lives in Canada. I liked him, a lot. He liked me too, but I went to England for five weeks, and when I came back everything was different, he just started being a huge c*nt and wouldn't talk to me. Then him and his supposed girlfriend had a go at me. It really cut me deep, actually. I got over it though.
About three months ago, he started talking to me, just as friends, he said sorry, and told me that he really regretted it. I didn't really believe him, but I spoke to him anyway. It was just random talking as friends, we didn't talk for a while, but last week he got me to go on webcam with him, after a good half an hour of convincing, we talked for so long, about four hours, maybe more. He told me how much he missed me, and he was just being really cute, he couldn't have said sorry to me enough. He actually did explain everything to me, about why he was a d*ckhead, and stuff. I forgave him, because everyone deserves a second chance. He promised me about a million times that he would never hurt me like that again. He told me that he fell for me so easily last time, and he know that he'd probably do it again. Anyway, I'm not going into that, because that is a long un-needed story. So, long story short, I'm pretty sure I f*cking like him again too.
I feel like suck an idiot for liking this kid, I want to believe it, but I don't believe that he likes me, at all. There is no way he likes me. He just thinks he does.

I don't know guys. I'm so confused. just needed to get that out.