I posted a journal here last night and the response I got was entertaining so I’m in a good mood and decided to make a journal (may be a one-time thing maybe not) about the stuff my grandma says that I find entertaining. This may also be just stories or stuff said about my grandma that’s entertaining also.
Yes the title is stolen from the book “Sh-t My Dad Says”
Also when I say president, vice president, counsel, I mean our tribal counsel not U.S. one.
On to it than!
Me: “I’m telling you dude, Gram’s O.G. (original gangster)
Johnny (my cousin): “Okay whatever.”
Us:*walk into grams room*
Johnny: “What are you doing?”
Gram: “Watching Scarface, I like this movie.”
Johnny: o.o
Me: “Told you…”
___
I had just woken up and sat down on the couch next to my mom.
Me: “Where’s Gram?”
Mom: “Out trying to save the tribe.”
You may not find it funny but if you knew my grandma you’ll find it hilarious…
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My gram was at a late meeting last night and my mom and I were wondering what was going on that made it go until 3 am.
Time 1 am.
Mom: “It has to be a good meeting; think they over threw our president yet?”
Me: “They are making a plan B, in case it doesn’t work…”
Mom: “What’s plan B?”
Me: “There gonna assassinate him.”
Mom:*laughs* “They probably will… They’ll probably get Gram to do it to.”
Me: “Knowing her she will… She’ll offer to.”
Mom: o.o
___
Gram finally comes home.
Time 3am.
Me: “Do you have a gun?”
Gram: “…what?”
Me:*explains joke*
Gram:*laughs* “No we didn’t plan that *turns serious* the assassination meeting is next week *walks away*”
Us: o.o
___
My grandma and cousin Gina don’t get along well; they dislike each other strongly but love each other deep down. At this moment my cousin was planning her demise. I don’t condone the over throw of my grandma but it’s funny so I’m posting it.
Gina: “Dude I’m telling you, I can take her.”
Greg (my other cousin) & I: “You can’t take gram.”
Gina: “She’s 73, I can take her.”
Me: “Dude I thought that and she kicked my ass when I was 13; if she can take out a 13 year old me then she can take out a 24 year old you.”
Gina: “Naw uh, all I gotta do is get her down; once she’s done she can’t get back up.”
Greg: “But she’ll go down swinging.”
Me: “That or take you down with her.”
___
Me: *doing something to annoy gram*
Gram: “I’mma hit you with this book *picks up huge hard cover book*
Me:*smirks* “Do it old lady; I’m 17, its child abuse.”
Gram:*smirks back* “Go ahead think they’ll believe little old me would be able to abuse big young you?”
Me: o.o “You’re an evil old lady.”
___
Okay don’t ask how because I can’t remember or exactly know but somehow my gram accidently hit me in the face (above my eye) with her fist >.> I’m not lying it was an accident!
Me: “OW!”
Gram: “Oh does it hurt? *touches my eyebrow*
Me: “Yes! Don’t touch it… ow, I can get you for child abuse.”
Gram: “Naw, I made sure not to leave a bruise… Better not bruise.”
Me: o.o
___
My gram and I are arguing over lunch and she accuses me of lying which I probably was.
Me: “I AM NOT!”
Gram: “LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!”
___
One of my best friends doesn’t like her nana and my gram was getting upset over something my friend’s grandma did to her.
Gram: “Ugh that just upsets me! I should just… Ugh! I’m gonna get my homegirls and we are gonna go jump her. We’re gonna go graffiti her house too!”
My Friend: o.o *laughs so hard she cries*
Me: “Told you gram was gangster.”
___
Okay I may do this again; if my gram says more funny things, I probably will.
Questions!
1: Anyone else have funny parents, grandparents, relatives?
2: Find anything my gram said funny?
3: Want more of these?