So… The first installment of this can be found here. I’ll broaden the plain since my whole family is pretty funny.
Okay let’s get to it shall we?
___
My gram always falls asleep while watching TV and I always have to check on her and tell her to take her glasses off.
Me: “Gram wake up.”
Gram: “What?”
Me: “Take off your glasses.”
Gram: “I can’t.”
Me: “Why?”
Gram: “I have to sleep with them on so I can see in my dreams.”
Me: o.o -.- “Take them off.”
Gram: “Dang… you used to believe it when you were little.”
___
I go into her room (on another day) to remind her of her glasses again and my little cousin is there.
Me: “Gram take off your glasses.”
Stormy (my little cousin): “No don’t bother her. She has to leave them on.”
Me: “Why?”
Stormy: “Or else she can’t see in her dreams.”
Gram:*smirks*
Me: -.- “STOP TELLING KIDS THAT LIE!”
___
My sister was reading a text message.
Dee (my sister): “Hey Nech what does “X” “D” mean?”
Me: “It’s supposed to be a smilie that is laughing really hard.”
Dee: “Oh like this *makes XD face*”
Me: o.o “Yes… just like that.”
___
My mom was ordering pizza on the phone.
Dee: “Dad what do you want?”
Carl (my dad): “Oh I’d like a Marie and a Bella.”
Dee: o.O
Me: >.>
Mom: “You can’t order Italian women from Dominos!”
___
We were watching King Of The Hill and on the episode there was a prostitute named Tammy.
Carl (my dad): “You ever notice all the hookers are always named Tammy? *looks at my mom*”
Tammy (my mom): *Looks at my dad* “Ever noticed how all the weirdo perverts are named Carl?”
Me: o.o “My name is Nech… and my parents are apparently a whore and pervert…”
___
This happened when I was 8 years old and I didn’t understand my dad came in complaining because he wanted sympathy; I thought he was just making conversation!
Dad: “God I’m so tired. Work was long today. Look! *shows hands that have blisters* WORK!”
Me: “Look! *shows hands that also have blisters* MOKEY BARS!”
Dad: o.o xD
Hey I didn’t know I was just talking! Granted he found it hilarious and said it made his day. My mom said it was one of his favorite memories of me.
___
My cousin (Gina) and I were watching a scary movie on TV.
Gina (my cousin): “Are you scared?”
Me: “No…”
Gina: “Well you shouldn’t be! Cause you’re on Scared Tactics!”
If you ever seen that TV show you’ll know that’s what they say at the end xD.
___
My gram was telling me about this meeting she had where she had to get picked up and taken to someone’s house (where the meeting was at) and couldn’t bring her own car because she didn’t know where the location was.
Gram: “The house was in the middle of nowhere! I wouldn’t have found it on my own. Everyone was there and I came in and I was like; ‘Geez I feel like we are a top secret society or something. I can’t bring my own car; meetings in the middle of nowhere. What are you guys planning?’ Then right then one of those *crop-dusters flew by and I was like; ‘Look! The FBI & CIA are onto us, RUN!”
Me:*laughing so hard I’m crying*
*There are fields all around the homes where I live and a crop-duster is a small plane that flies really low near the field to dust the crops with some sort of gas/liquid thing that helps them grow.
___
My sister is really ditzy and wasn’t trying to pretend to be younger; she honestly forgot.
Setting: My sister Dee’s birthday party.
Albert (sister’s friend): “How old are you now Dee?”
Dee: “Oh.. umm.. twenty… eight? Yeah I think so.”
Me: o.O “YOUR THIRTY-ONE!”
Dee: “Ohhh!”
Everyone: *laughing*
Albert: “How the hell do you get 28 outa 31?!”
Dee: *laughs* “I don’t know!”
___
Me: “I need more cigarettes.”
Mom: “Ugh I just went to the store. I asked if you needed some!”
Me: “You did not!”
Mom: “Yes I did Neche Lee (my middle name).”
Me: -.- “I remember correctly; you said ‘Neche I’m going to the store for some Churros do you want any?”
Mom: “Yeah! Churros are code word for cigarettes!”
Me: -.-“Mom… YOU CAN’T HAVE A CODE WORD WITHOUT LETTING PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!”
Mom: “Ohhh… well Churros is code for cigarettes…”
A churro, sometimes referred to as a Spanish doughnut, is a fried-dough pastry -based snack that has disputed origins.
___
The next day
Me: “We need some more Churros…”
Mom: “What the hell are you talking about?”
Me:-.-
Questions!
1: Favorite part?
2: Want more?
3: Think the rest of my family is as funny as my gram?