People.

I don't have that many people I can really call friends. I'm not talking about on here, I'm talking about in real life. I really talk to like three people. And they all kinda run over me. The other people I talk to are just acquaintances. I'm fine with it that way.

I'm growing to hate everybody that walks by me, or tries to talk to me. Everybody is so fucking stupid, yet they think they know everything. I'm probably one of those people, because I do seriously act like I know a lot. All in all, I don't know shit. I'm only fifteen. All I know is my family, a little bit of how people act, drugs, and not doing things right. That's all I feel like I know.

Everybody in my neighborhood, and a few more neighborhoods around think I'm a fuck up. Sometimes from hearing all of the parents and adults remarks I feel like one. I feel like the older side/ more conservative side of my family hates me because they know all of the stuff I've done.

I feel really lonely. To the point where I think about killing myself. I keep telling myself I won't do it because "I'm a pussy," and "don't have the guts." But when I really think about it, it wouldn't be that bad. The only thing that keeps me from attempting it is my family. If I thought they wouldn't be sad I'd be fucking stupid. Because anyone that spends time with someone for fifteen years and then it's just gone...so that's why I don't.

And I have nothing to feel anymore but sadness. It takes something real big to make me smile. And that's not how I want to be.