Feelings on love.

I feel this dreadful feeling in my gut, like nothing will happen. Like I'm going to end up alone with hundreds of cats - half of the buried under the hoards of junk I'll have collected after my seventy years of living with no children and no husband to attend too, unless I find some abusive drunk I can f*** - and left without my family to fall back on..

I keep dreaming of being alone. Sure, one night stands, but never a serious relationship where I feel like I can come home to them every day.. I'm not quite sure why, but I can't quite seem to understand why anyone would ever want to spend time with me.. Time that isn't paid for, of course. Would you? Would you understand why someone would want to spend a whole week of evenings for no extra charge? Do you understand why people want to spend time with each other? Anything other than emotional feelings? It just doesn't make sense to me.

What is love? More than just emotional sap? More than chemicals? Can you describe your experiences? Do you believe women are programmed to merely reproduce for the future's investment?

Otherwise, add me on MSN and I'll continue a conversation. I can't keep one, but I'm more than happy to share secrets if you're willing to ask them.