i have issues

is it bad i find murdering people hot? i cant get my boyfriend beating someones head in with a baseball bat out of my head, no he didnt but its like a fantasy of mine should i tell my councelor about this facination? i really dont want to go back to the mental hospitle maybe its the masochist inside me.... or maybe im just a sick freak you know most expect me to become a serial killer...but id rather be a councler am i weird? see this is why i write to get my sick fantisies down on paper