The Journal in the Life of : A 23 Year Old Single Mother

Alright well I am starting a Journal,obviously lol.
I am not usually the one to write journals,never even owed a diary.
I mostly just write poetry.
However I am going for a change and this can could be the start I need.
So what I am going to be doing with this blog is everyday I am going to attempt to write down the days in my life.
I am a 23 year old single Mother of a 2 year old little girl who has a schizophrenic baby Daddy.
Now let's get this started.

So let me tell you a little something about myself and my past as a child.
My name is Stacy.I am 23 years old.
I have a brother that is 3 years older then me.
I grew up in a hostile home environment with parents physically fighting all the time.
At one point and time I even hit my Father in the head with a 9 iron golf club to get him off my Mother before he beat her to death.
My parents are no longer together but they are still not divorce.
My Brother has a guyfriend named Reggie.
He's a pretty cool guy.
I liked to stay to myself growing up.
I didn't really feel like being around people,alot.

I had a best friend her name is Cricket.
We have known one another since we were 4 and 5 years old.
Her house was my second home.
A place to get away from all the reality I didn't want to endure.
We are still friends she's just in Flordia at the moment with another one of my friends Alex.
Cricket and I met Alex in 3rd grade.

I switched homes often.
Mostly staying at my Grandmother's which I didn't mind.
I love my Grandmother very much and she's one of the couple reasons I am still even in this town.
Nights when I was younger I would stay with her.
We would watch 'Wheel of Fortune' while we ate steak and baked potatos every night.
Our plates were supported by tv trays with pictures of Dukes of Hazard characters on them.
My Grandfather used to never eat anything except that meal every night.
Now not so much.
He was a Alcoholic.He drank ever since he was at least 13 and he is now in his late 60's.
He has faced death 3 times and he finally stopped drinking.Yay for Papaw!
I have an awesome Uncle we call him Bub.
I learned everything from him.
He was this Punkass teenager when he was younger.
Long hair listened to A/C D/C, Led Zepplin, The Eagles, Ozzy.
I got the love from music from being around him,and I wouldn't change that foranything.
I also have an Aunt.She is a meth head.
That's all I have to say about her.

Now about my Daughter.
She was born on Sept.21.2009 At 7:13pm.
She weighed 6 lbs and 13 and a half oz.
I was in labor with her for 22 hours.Had a natural birth without any meds.
Although just like anyone that's been through Childbirth would say,contractions are a bitch.
I have also endured 2 miscarriages those are two very saddening things to go through.
I am deeply sorry for anyone that has been through such a tragedy.
All the children are by the same Father. His name Is Jay.
I have known Jay since I was 15 years old.I should have known from the beginning when the first words he ever said to me was "Hey wanna make a porn?"
But me being myself and not giving a shit really,I still hung out with him.
We never hooked up back then.We didn't get together till he got out of jail.
He went to jail because he shot one of our mutal friends. ( Don't worry he didn't kill him, just a punctured lung and 2 other holes.)
We met up and we were just "friends" at first.
Then it became the so well known term "Fuck buddies".
Well I found out I was pregnant with our Daughter not even a month before my 21st birthday.
We officially started dating on Feb.13th. of 2009.
Yes only 8 months before our Daughter was born.
We were happy an wouldn't change her for the world.
But just like any other dick of a man,he cheated on me when our Daughter was 3 months old and lied about it.
So we are no longer together.
He is a possessive person.He believes that I shouldn't be with anyone else and he can say who I and cannot have around my Daughter.
Infact when all he does is hangs out with his buddies and a nasty skank.
Then asks a stupid question "Why can't I have Luna on the weekends?
My response being "I don't want my Daughter near your drug dealing buddies that live upstairs or your skanky Girlfriend that fucked 5 different dudes within two months."
Why would a Mother want that for her child??
Yeah... Not only that but he has only ever attempted to keep her over night once and ended up calling me and this was when she was not even a year old.. He wants to watch a 2 year old that's getting potty trained. HA! But that's where I am today.
I am in my Father's house with my 2 year old,trying to find a job because her Daddy doesn't want to pay his child support on time.

I should have known from the beginning when the first words he ever said to me was "Hey wanna make a porn?"
But me being myself and not giving a shit really,I still hung out with him.
We never hooked up back then.We didn't get together till he got out of jail.
He went to jail because he shot one of our mutal friends. ( Don't worry he didn't kill him, just a punctured lung and 2 other holes.)
We met up and we were just "friends" at first.
Then it became the so well known term "Fuck buddies".
Well I found out I was pregnant with our Daughter not even a month before my 21st birthday.
We officially started dating on Feb.13th. of 2009.
Yes only 8 months before our Daughter was born.
We were happy an wouldn't change her for the world.
But just like any other dick of a man,he cheated on me when our Daughter was 3 months old and lied about it.
So we are no longer together.
He is a possessive person.He believes that I shouldn't be with anyone else and he can say who I and cannot have around my Daughter.
Infact when all he does is hangs out with his buddies and a nasty skank.
Then asks a stupid question "Why can't I have Luna on the weekends?
My response being "I don't want my Daughter near your drug dealing buddies that live upstairs or your skanky Girlfriend that fucked 5 different dudes within two months."
Why would a Mother want that for her child??
Yeah... Not only that but he has only ever attempted to keep her over night once and ended up calling me and this was when she was not even a year old.. He wants to watch a 2 year old that's getting potty trained. HA! But that's where I am today.
I am in my Father's house with my 2 year old,trying to find a job because her Daddy doesn't want to pay his child support on time.

That is my life so far in a nutshell. So this I believe concludes my intro to my journal.
I thought maybe my life in another person's eyes might please people lol. So enjoy I guess.