Reality

I broke things off with Alejandro last Friday. There's another two-year friendship down the drain. Awesome.

My friends couldn't believe he was just using me, but that's life, I guess.

Last Thanksgiving, Antonio came to my house and spent the break with my family and me. It was truly one of the best weeks of my life.

Now he'll probably spend it with his fiancee's family.

I really just can't handle this anymore. The time I spent with Alejandro was a nice break, but now reality is starting to seep back in.

When will it stop hurting so much?

I hate this. Every time I think it can't get any worse, it always does. I feel like my life is just falling apart, and I'm powerless to stop it. I keep praying for help, but it never comes. I feel that God has abandoned me. I'm not asking Him to change the situation. I'm just asking for the strength to deal with it, but He won't even give me that.

Alejandro took my hand and told me, "You are not alone."

But it was just another lie. I am alone.