How to express feelings, and have your life even more messed up afterwards. Ha/

Some stuff I wanted to get off my chest. so here goes... lately I've been depressed, like bad. For about a week straight I would lay down to go to sleep, and wind up breaking down and cry. Then, getting up, grabbing the closest metal object, because I have no blade close, and cutting my wrist/lower forearm. It isn't the same, but I still got the same end result. My arm would bleed, I'd let my pain out, and my arm is scarred up as fuck. I still do it from time to time actually. I hate it. But, that's beside the point, as a chain of events has occurred since posting this (and more) elsewhere, and the person it being about saw it. You see, I thought I was over this girl (yes, one I've previously talked about) but, seeing her always tell herself negative things about herself made me, and this sounds cheesy, but it made me want to tell her how wrong she was and just hold her. So, anyway, she say that and responded. She pretty much said everything I expected, I need to stop cutting, she's not worth it, etc. Then, as much as I knew it was coming, she said the one thing that hurt. She still loves her ex. Always has, always will. I can't change that, and I know that now. I thought that if I confessed everything she would realize she still has feelings for me, and we would both get out of the depressive states we've been in over love. It didn't happen, and I'll move on the best I can. That all being said, funny side note. On the way to Thanksgiving this past Thursday, we passed a car. It had girls in it. And for once in my life, a girl was actually interested in me (or so my sister says...). It kinda of sucks that 1) We were too busy laughing for me to pay attention and 2) there's nothing I can do about this. Would have been nice to talk to the girl, and maybe everything previously stated wouldn't have taken place. Then, my arm wouldn't be bleeding. A friendship wouldn't be ruined. And I wouldn't be as depressed. Meh, what can you do? That's life.