The big 'Game' and other ramblings....

I want that time back, you know the time when a smile was genuine, when a laugh wasn't forced. When girls cried for joy and when a guys love wasn't something he ever thought he could loose. And us girls hadn't ripped their hearts apart. When you could dance on tables and scream at the top of your lunges. When you had friends you could trust and you knew the ones you couldn't. What the fuck happened to that time. And how did we all end up so ripped apart and broken?

I look back at my childhood friends, and the life I thought we'd all have. And as I look at them now, not one of them isn't damaged, not one of them isn't broken. What the hell happened to the innocence, the strength we were all born with?

Life. Yes life got to us all, the older we get the more jaded we get, the more we look at this existence as a game we have to play. A game we either win or loose at. This complicated dance, where we make one false move, one false step and we're sent sprawling.

So, we have this game, this game called life. And I often sit and think about this, think about those who have opted out of the game, taken it all into their own hands and ended it. Did they make the right choice or did they just hit the restart button, and now they have to live through it all again?

All games come to an end, we all know that much. So what happens at the end, after we've all had our turns at rolling the dice? Do we hit the restart or is there something better. A massive prize that's ours for the taking. I know some of you have your faith and your own beliefs as to what happens at the end of this game. And I again admire your faith.

But I've given up guessing, or trying to figure it out. This life has no surprises anymore, no technology and science has taken away the magic, the mystery. The only magic or mystery we have left is this end we're all condemned to face, this big blank spot at the end of our roads.

So I'll play along with this game for now, knowing I'll be in on the big secret in the end. That I will be in on this thing we're all terrified of. So I'll stop guessing, and just sit back and try and survive this game for as long as possible.