Age 4. the beginning.

Age 4:
When i was for i thought life was great. I was a little kid, everything was perfect and that I'd always be happy and safe. About 7 weeks til my birthday, my step father began to change. He got enraged over the slightest things. I recall a very terrible thing , of which to this day is hard for me to talk about, but since I'm sworn to tell the truth here it goes. I recall taking showers with my mother like most little children did when they were small, but the other thing was i took showers with my step dad too. Most people say that's because of the different genders, but some said they did the same when they were young. when i would take the showers usually i would sit down and play with bath toys then get out. Around the same time as his demeanor changed so did the showers. It started with the touching. He never said a word and i remember being curious and wondering what was happening. After that i hated staying alone with him, and i absolutely refused all showers with him. That's when the cutting started. i saw my mothers shaving razor lying on the tub. i picked it up and looked at its surfaces. i placed it on my upper leg and slid it across roughly. I had meant to 'shave' like mommy but it didn't work like that. pain surged through then i felt nothing at, i saw nothing but black and i heard nothing. When i could see again blood was running down my leg and oozing out of the place i had laid the razor. One night i lay with sister in our little twin bed and i heard screaming and yelling. It was common to hear my parents fighting but this seemed a little bit worse. i walked out of my room and into the living room. There i saw my mothers face being pushed through the computer monitor or the ''computer face'' as i called it then. Once my mother saw me looking she hurried me into my room. they continued to fight outside my room. there i new even then that i had to keep my little sister safe. I picked up the only thing i could find, it
Thats all i remember from then