A Gay Boy Crashes Out Of the Closet (My Coming Out Story)

First of all I wish I could say my coming out was one of those picture perfect ideas of what it is like. That everyone was accepting and we all broke out into happy songs and what not. If that is what you want feel free to exit now.

Being gay has drastically changed what people think of me and at times I wonder what life would be like if I had not come out. I get asked often how I came out, probably the second most asked question about being gay. So here it goes mibba, this is the oh so exciting tale of me coming out of the closet... more like crashing out of the closet.

I live in a small town, like freakishly obnoxiously small. When I was in eight grade there was only two openly gay guys in my town. Both were harassed and ridiculed to no end, and both were two years older then me. In eighth grade I took some classes at the high school and one of the boys was in my class. His name is Travis and as you will soon learn is a huge part of all this.

I have never liked girls mibba, never ever. I tried once in middle school to try and be with a girl. I felt gross and disgusting and I had no idea what you were supposed to do with your hands when they have those giant boobs in the way. About seventh grade I was starting to notice other guy's bodies. I loved the sleek muscular way that guy's bodies were developing into. By the time I hit eight grade I had fully submerged myself in the idea of a guys body being attractive. Free internet porn is a wonderful thing.

Back to the point. Eight grade, gay boy, and me. We got paired up into groups and Travis was in mine. He never even gave me a second look and it was the most frustrating time at first. He would come over study and leave, he never even seemed to want to acknowledge my existence. Finally after about a week I snapped. I could not take seeing him everyday with his shaggy blonde hair aand gorgeous brown eyes and not doing anything. So I kissed him. Nothing in the world exploded and no one died because I kissed him. Yet it changed everything for me.

Our study sessions morphed from innocent to the complete opposite. He was my first kiss, and he taught me a lot. My mom would let me close the door to our room and instantly I was in his lap. And a few weeks after the first kiss that is where my mom found me one night when she came to check on us. She slammed the door and ignored me. The next day she still wouldn't even look at me. Finally the dam broke and I had to listen to how my choice was wrong, that this better be just a phase because it was wrong. She also said I could not see Travis ever again.

Pissed off me went to school the next day and kissed Travis in the middle of the hallway. That is how everyone found out I was gay. I warned you that it was no where near close to the perfect coming out story. I get harassed and attacked everyday. The slurs of fag and fairy no longer even affect me. Coming out changed a lot of things for me and my mom had to deal with those changes. Travis and I are just friends now and my mom and I have slowly gone almost back to normal. At times I think she still hopes it is just a phase and I am not sure how to break it to her.

I know that being gay puts a huge target on my back but I would not go back in the closet. I hated lying and feeling like no one really knew me. If there was one thing I could tell every gay, lesbian or bi kid it would be just to take a deep breath and go for it. Because it is such an amazing feeling to finally get to be you.