"Trauma is the ultimate killer"

I'm sorry if you are sick of journal entries full of excuses as to why I haven't submitted anything etc, but this is different.

I did add two chapters of a story a few days ago so there you go ha!

Just kidding.
Well I guess, since not many people read these I can feel free to be honest.

Right now is a big turning point for me in life.
Have you ever had something happen to you so horrible, you blocked it out for years.
So much so that you almost don't even remember if it happened or if you made it up.

Well that happened to me awhile ago, and I'm kinda dealing with realising it did actually happen.

Please don't worry about me, I'm planning to start counselling to learn how I'm suppose.....to move on from it and I am surrounded by loving family and friends who are always there for me.
I will be fine.

Obviously it's a lot to take on, so you can understand if I am not writing much other than depressing poetry etc.

That being said, I have decided that I must finish Two Is Company as much as I don't want it to end ha ha.
So for any fans, yes a few more chapters and that story is done.
There may be a sequel to come after but we'll see when the time comes.

I think that is also the reason why I've been so......lazy with writing it.
I think like a few of you, I fell in love with the characters.
It was the first time I absolutely loved something I wrote, the characters were flawless to me and I had this fantasy escape world.
So obviously, I never want that to end.
But like all good things, it will eventually have to.

I think it's good and suckish to finish it, as I said I will miss writing it when it is all done.
But it's good because then I have a complete book that I am completely proud of and happy with it.
So i guess that is pretty amazing, given my age etc.

Anyway if you do read this & if you relate to what I was saying about blocking something out.
Then I highly suggest you speak up, I tried to carry on like it didn't matter but suddenly it creeped up on me.
Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help from a friend or a therapist.
We all need help a lot of times in our life, and some things.
Like this, we need to actually learn and be told how to deal with it all and move on.

Our mind has a way of just going back there and if we haven't gotten over it or forgave the person involved.
It can constantly upset us anytime it comes up.
So if you feel this way, please do try get help.
Because as strong as we are, we all need help sometimes.

Particularly in this situation because our mind and we don't know what we have to do to actually get over it so we can stop crying everytime we think about it.

As always, thank you so much if you did read this.
I love you guys,
Stay safe!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx