If you were here,

my life would be so much easier.

You would know exactly what to say to make everything better. You would be able to help me through everything I'm being forced to go through. I would know your wishes, and be able to properly honor them -- not just guess what you would want, or ask someone else.

I feel as if I wouldn't be so depressed, if you were still here. I wouldn't be in the current predicament that I'm stuck in; trying to gather the shattered pieces of what used to be my life. I'm not even to the point of sitting down and attempting to reassemble them yet.

If you were still here, I don't think I would've let myself go this badly: physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I wouldn't be so different from other people if you were still here. I'd be more like a normal teenager.

I would ask you to come back, but I know you can't. I won't even get my hopes up and try.

I never asked for this to happen to me. There are more days than not that I'd really like an answer as to why this has happened, but I've learned something over the years: by the time I get my answer, it won't matter anymore.