I just want to be enough.

For you. For me. For everyone.

Maybe it's because I trust you, or maybe it's because I like you. I don't trust a lot of people like I trust you -- it's not even outright trust. It's subtle, yet unconcealed at the same time. I'm not open with a lot of people, and while I'm not completely open with you... I'm as honest as I can be, without worrying about scaring you off. There are things that I do with you that I don't do with a majority of people. No one notices it, really, with the exception of myself and those who know me best. I wonder if you treat everyone like you treat me. I'd be disappointed if that was true.

The improvements that I've made in the past six months... they're significant. But most days, I feel as if they're not enough. I feel that I could do more. When I look in the mirror, what I see staring back at me... It's just not enough. Some days I wonder if it'll ever be enough.

You don't like me in the same fashion that I like you. I'm sure of it. Seeing me isn't the highlight of your day. You don't think you're not good enough for me. You don't feel the need to improve yourself for me to notice you.

I really wish we could be more than friends.

Probably because I've seen quite a few different sides of you, and I can appreciate all of them. You showed me today how understanding (and caring) you are. When I snapped at you, you didn't take it personally because you knew "exactly why" I was "p!ssy". And I'm sorry to say that I took two Tylenol when I came home. I said it today and I'll say it again: luckily, you'll never have to know what this pain feels like, because you're a guy. You may not think I need them because "they're not good" for me, and that I can just ride the pain out, but that's easier said than done.

I know two things right now:

- I'll probably never be good enough for you, myself or anyone else.

- You're gonna make some lucky lady very happy one day.