Cutting - Addiction

So, today I realized something: People will always disappoint. I don't know if this is just me or what. I've always been the outgoing, funny one of the group, but I feel like no one really takes time to look at me and say, "I know not everything is alright." I mean, none of my friends would have ever guessed that my mom found out I've been cutting, or that whenever I go to throw away my razors, I can't 'cause I'm so addicted.
Cutting has become a horrible addiction for me. I used to just do multiple, insignificant scratches, but for the past month or so I've been taking blades and cutting really deep into my skin till I can't control the bleeding and I have to put duct tape with a tissue over it over night so I won't bleed all over the covers. I know I shouldn't cut, I really do know that. It's bad for me, and it's incredibly dangerous, but I just can't stop. I've told my counselor and my mom knows, but even with all the pressure to stop, I still find myself coming back to the blade.
Unless you've ever cut, you could never understand the release it brings. It has so many wonderful benefits that NOTHING else can give you. But trust me: Don't make that first cut. Soon you'll be in a downward spiral like I am, unable to go more then a day without giving yourself a gash across your leg or arm. It's a serious addiction that, unfortunately, I'll struggle with for the rest of my life..