12/16/11

You know, life is hard, it costantly gets you down and then when you try to get back up it throws you down again. I dont pretend to have the worst life out there, believe me there are many people who have it harder than me but my life is still hard. I have to deal with two parents who cant talk to eachother and who are constantly trying to turn me against the other one, I have a dad who cares about more the image of the perfect son that he wants than he does about me, and if i make a mistake and he thinks it reflects badly on him, god help me. I have two things that keep me going though, one is the hope that tommorow wil always be better, i will never let go of that hope. And two the fact that i dont want to let anyone down or hurt anyone, i mean i cant fail the people i love. I put my all into certain things, like my wrestling or my football. My dream right now, other than being with the girl i love, is to be the Connecticut 170 lb. state champion wrestler and i will work my hardest and work my tail off to achieve that. The problem is that when im so focused on something like that everything else seems to take a back seat in importance. Like today my bio teacher mrs. F told me she would fail me if i didnt start doing my work, and it occured to me that i hadn't done one homework assignment since the start of wrestling. I need to figure out what to do and quick if I am going to make honors and get my license by the end of the quarter. Another thing that is bothering me is that i really like this girl, cass, and ive liked her for some while now but i dont know if she likes me back. When i first brought up the subject of dating she said that she cant date because she ends up breaking up with all her boyfriends after like two weeks because she is scared they will break up with her first. Little does she know that if we were together, i would never leave. ever. So i need to figure out what to do about that situation also.

Nick
December 16th, 2011 at 08:39pm