Looking for a greater purpose beyond Earth... that's me

Why? Why is there no purpose this Earth for anything? There is just a certain length from one point to the other, and no way to exceed this line or go beyond it. All you do is exist, and survive, and then die. There's nothing more, nothing more important, and nothing I can do about it. It's a really depressing way to live. To have no value, no meaning and no purpose. To just exist with millions of others exactly like you without the slightest bit of worth to you. Hardly a scrape off of the worlds population would be affected if i didn't exist. Maybe ten people would notice out of billions of people. We're all worthless here.

I feel like theres nothing left for me, nothing beyond this world. We all just exist on this Earth. Picture a small circle. This is Earth. Put some dots on the Earth circle. That's us. Make a shadowy circle covering the Earth circle. This is h*ll. We all exist in some d*mned h*ll on this Earth.... Why am i so driven to go beyond this though? Why am i so driven to make myself important? Why am i so needy. So in need to know what's beyond here? To know if i really do have a purpose, or a 'slot in heaven.' Nothing makes sense, nothing completely cooroperates when you detangle it all the way down to the end of the string.

I feel like i'm constantly searching for some 'God', some 'Creator" some "Greater Entity." But in reality, i know that theres nothing for me. There's no paradise, no heaven, no God, no greater purpose. I am just a low class of existance that just so happened to be d*mned with clinical depression and some identity crisis. Nothing matters, everything's pointless. Typing this journal is pointless, eating is pointless, i'm pointless, you're pointless, face it we're all pointless all the way through.

Yet everything on this Earth functions off of the most pointless things. This Earth is so pointless that it makes my stomach ache.... But then again if this Earth chased non-pointless things. If this Earth chased for a better existance, for the creator of it all, then that would be even more pointless because theres nothing beyond here. Nothing beyond this h*ll, nothing beyond the d*mned. So why am i so driven to find it? Why am I so hyped over finding something that doesnt exist? Why am i pretending this? It's all painful, it all hurts.

"I could possibly die finding paradise. But that's natural. It's natural to die, we all die at some time. But going through life without a purpose? Then you're already dead" -Kiba; Wolf's Rain.

Why is he so coldly right? Why do i live off of these words. I feel as if theres no barrier, no stretch, theres not even a different between gaseous space and solid space. There's no solid point, we all just float in something that's so unnessisary, it might as well just cave into itself and vanish. I doubt anyone reading this will get my words, will understand my point of view, or really understand the point of my message. But, i guess i just wish i wasn't so alone in my addiction to knowing, and being valuable in the world.

-I can write an essay on being pointless, but not on a given topic for highschool? Fantastic