Goodbye: An Ode to 2011

Out with the old, in with the new.
It seems as though I was just meeting you.
So much has happened in the twelve months we've been acquainted.
I've changed for the better, though my heart had been tainted.
You saw the pain I felt and the tears I cried.
You saw the suffering that I tried to hide.
Losing a best friend is hard to do.
So imagine how I felt when I lost 42.
Growing up with the same people always felt so right.
No wonder my heart was heavy graduation night.
High school was over within a blink.
Graduating high school wasn't even a big deal compared to the rest, don't you think?
I knew summer would bring joy,
But how was I to know that I was going to fall in love with a Boy?
Not a boy, but a Man. The most perfect one to walk on the earth.
The One who brought such greatness with His simple birth.
I forgot how much He loved me.
To feel His love from every side, there was a change in me that everyone could see.
But then came September, where things started to go wrong.
When the cancer came, it seemed like something out of a country song.
No one knew.
I didn't want them to.
So I was stubborn and held my pride.
Keeping my hurt, anger, and fear inside.
But you sent my angels to become my friends.
Little did they know, they were saving me from an early end.
I was still so angry and I didn't know why.
I felt guilty and forever wanted to cry.
And just when things were starting to look up,
Is when you, 2011, had your biggest hiccup.
My father had found someone new.
She was young, funny, and her eyes were blue.
He was ready to go, that's what he said.
Upon hearing those words, I wished I was dead.
It couldn't be true. It had to be a lie.
But Mom showed me the proof. I couldn't even cry.
I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.
The last man I trusted wanted to leave.
Move to a different state. Just like that.
My heart fell to the floor with a hideous splat.
But then a miracle happened, or so Mom did say.
Everything changed when with the Pastor, they did pray.
My heart couldn't fathom what had taken place.
He had fallen from my grace.
In less than 24 hours, he discovered what mattered.
But in less than 30 seconds, my heart had been shattered.
I had to forgive him. It was the right thing to do.
But how do you look at the man who broke you, and tell him "I love you."
I went to church. I danced through the motions.
No one could tell that I was drowning in an ocean.
But then something happened. Something I couldn't conceive.
You used someone to speak to me, to say things I couldn't believe.
He was actually addressing the entire room.
But how did he know to say the things that directly spoke to my doom?
Forgiving is easy. But walking in it takes time.
It doesn't make you a bad person. After all, they committed a crime.
A crime against your heart, something they can't undo.
But know that they're sorry. And that God loves you.
How simple yet powerful were those words that he spoke.
I cried so hard that night, I thought I was having a stroke.
A stroke it was. A stroke of luck. All from one man who was God led.
God was calling me out. There was no doubt in my head.
I sobbed and begged for things to get better.
But nothing changed, except my pillow got a lot wetter.
Or so it seemed..
But by the grace of God, I had been redeemed.
I don't know what religion you believe or to whom you pray.
But the God I serve changed me that day.
I'm not the same person I once was, nor will I ever be.
When I say my heart changed, don't take that lightly.
No longer did I find my worth in men, nor search for terrestial love.
I had all I could stand and more when I looked up above.
Things are still shaky, no doubt about that.
But when things get too hard, I call God up to bat.
He knocks it out of the park. Every time.
He's so good and faithful, it should be a crime.
I've done so much wrong, yet he doesn't care.
He loves me so much that he numbered my every hair.
I've known this for years.
Yet, only could I truly decipher it's meaning through my tears.
When you're lower than low and feels like the world is caving in,
Just remember you'll always have The Greatest Friend.
I know now that everything happened for a reason.
However, I still never want to repeat that season.
But I'm happy where I am now.
Can you believe I used to be shy? Look at me now!
So 2012, I'm looking at you.
Your days will be plenty, and your nights will be few.
I have the Light of the world to help me see,
When things seem to be too much for me.
To everyone who may still be reading this,
I hope your new year is filled with utter bliss.
And 2011, I'm afraid we must part ways.
So long, old friend. I'll remember you the rest of my days..