Life Sucks .

Seeing all this cutesy , lovey-dovey stuff on Tumblr makes my insides hurt . To the point where I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep . I haven't felt happy in a long time , and I know that I may seem like it , but really that is just a mask . I actually feel like I want to throw up right about now , that's how seeing all this makes me feel , knowing that I won't have that .. I'll just sit here on my own with my puppy and that's about it .

I'm Lonely

I feel like I will be like this for the rest of my life , the last time I was in a relationship , it was okay , but the fact that I felt more like a babysitter than a girlfriend really tore me apart . It was hard , really hard . I wanted to make things work , but I never felt like it would . No matter how much I wished it true . It just wasn't meant to be , even if we did share some good times together , it just wasn't what I wanted . I feel empty inside , like there is actually a hole in my chest . Yeah that may sound co cliched but it's true .

I actually feel like shit , like I'm worthless . Just so you know , I'm not doing this for attention , I'm just writing how I feel , and I guess that's well .. Shitty . I don't know why I do it to myself , I'm doing one thing , and then I end up looking at all these couples and it tears me apart . I think I should just give up .