I cried because of
everything last night.
This is my page-break by the way, his name is Shtumpy. But anyway, yeah. I broke down again, and I cut myself again and it's worse than before. You could swear my arm was mauled by a cat. I just can't bring myself to believe that I'm not a pathetic idiot who can't do anything right. And y'know what's the funniest? I was texting my ex-boyfriend. That guy who I know I still love with everything I've got. And don't tell me I don't know what love is. Because heaven knows I do. He's the one who doesn't. I just don't know what to do anymore. All he does it hurt me, and I guess. It's time to let him go. I don't want to, but I have to.....
Back to the reasons I was crying, I really do feel like what I mentioned above. I've let my mom down so many times it's sad. She gets mad at me for the littlest things, and she proceeds to insult me and tell me all these horrible things. Not to mention I want to go and study film in San Francisco, and she says no. Frankly, I'm going to apply, and when I get accepted, I'm gonna go. It's going to kill me. I know it is, because she'll disapprove, but, it's what I want to do. And I'm not going to give that up.......
I don't know what to do anymore. I've already ruined everything and I spent the night crying while listening to Simple Plan's
Perfect. And. I just don't know. I just want to be happy again....
