You heard me right folks! Connor and I are over before we even actually became girlfriend/boyfriend!
Why, you may ask?
Oh well, it's because he chose he his SNOWBOARD over me, just as I kinda knew he would (:
Am I angry? Ehh, a little bit. I feel like he led me to believe something was possible and then he turns around and says he's worried about attachment and wants to end it. Because, you know, there's a CHANCE he MIGHT be leaving in SIX MONTHS to Utah. Or Colorado. I don't even know anymore. My daddy like making jokes about how "from what you have said, about how he basically failed his last competition by falling on all the runs, and then he did so bad yesterday he was swearing in the parking lot, I doubt he'll be chosen to go. And then he'll realize what a big fricken mistake he made doing this now but you'll be off to better pastures and. You know. He doesn't deserve you. And I'm not just saying that cause I'm your Daddy."
I love my Daddy<3
On that note, I've been off and on crying for two days now. I need to get ahold of myself. It happened after school yesterday and I had a snow day today so no one had to deal with me, but I most likely have school tomorrow and I can't be a blubbering idiot. I mean, yes, I 'm sad. Yes, I wanted something to happen. Yes, I thought we would end up together. Life goes on and I need to suck the hell up.
My one wish now is that we can at least be friends. But I don't know if I should text him about it or not. At this point, where I'm being blunt and honest about things now, I see why not? But then my Mum said, just let it be and at school tomorrow if you see him just talk and act normal so he knows I want to still talk and be civil or whatever. The only issue is I don't think he has a reason to see ME, and I think (from the end of the message he sent as a reply to my "what are 'we'" message: "please don't hate me") he thinks I hate him. So. But I don't know what to do. I don't know what would make me feel better.
And to end this, my New Years Resolution is this: "Life is a happy fantasy, you just have to make the one you want." And that's what I plan on doing.
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