Trust me Not ~

What the hell did I do? I don’t even want to begin on how confused and how lost I am. Again.
Let me just hold up for a while; let me collect my thoughts, my feelings, my past and focus on what surrounds me.

Let me just hold myself before I can let go; let out myself into tiny fragments of happiness, anger and insecurity. Let me just embrace myself before I hit the peak of insanity. Silence will do, no words of comfort thank you very much, nor words of encouragement. (That would be THE last thing I need, for I have received enough).

They say that there is only one way to prove that we are all humans, and no it is not some kind of freaky DNA analyzer or anything of that sort. It is what we can see inside us. It is what we all do and what we all do best. Can you guess what it is? Let me give you a hint, it a moment. And when this special "moment" happens to us or between us we feel silly, stupid and not to mention horribly embarrassed and maybe even a bit frustrated.

Like I said before, it happens to all of us. This thing that we share may happen and remain with us for a few minutes, to a few years. Alright fine, I will save you from your own troubles by answering this god forsaken question.

Mistakes.

Yep, that’s basically it. It is the only way to prove us that were human, and not forgetting to mention that we all do it. No one is perfect, like I’ve said before. They say we all learn from our mistakes, well...what if we don't? What if were lost inside the maze of our mistakes? How can we free ourselves from it?
Apologizing?
Begging?
Doing nice/simple things?
Forgetting about it?
Avoiding it?

Hell, how would I know? I'm just another human being who ran over a mistake. Twice. What's a 17 year old female human to do when her heart is torn? Her mind is swollen from her thoughts? Her body feels numb and cold. And the idea of her not existing is damned well screwed inside her beliefs.