For people who have a problem with cursing just go ahead and press the return button because im venting from my heart, im no saint so I curse worst than a sailor. For those people who dont care about cursing, thank you and please dont judge. I made it so people can't comment on it because I dont like to read hate comments sometimes.
Today was one of the most emotional days of my life.
1. My boyfriend (Logan) and I started dating a few days after me and my ex-boyfriend broke up because we really liked each other and the last few days of my other relationship was "shit". I thought I was completely over my ex-boyfriend, he wasn't good company to be around so we were beter off as friends. For a few weeks I have been texting my him because our relationship ended on a good note. I assumed while we were texted he still liked me because he told me things such as "he thought of me as a girlfriend, he wanted to kiss me, see me, be with me, and he still LOVES me." I wanted to tell him I was dating Logan, but I was scared because he hates Logan from a while ago (it was obvious then Logan liked me). We have been trying to hide our relationship from "Facebook" and his friends at my school to not hurt my ex-boyfriend. Logan and I have a great relationship and I would love to always be around him all the time. He is perfect to me thats why im in love with him.
2. Today Logan and I got in a two fights. This is most likely my fourth time telling this story but here it is again; My school got new schedules for everyone due class changes so Logan and I got different lunchs which really "sucks". So durning his lunch I asked the teacher to write me a pass to my locker and with that pass instead I went to visit him. While I walking there I heard someone call my name, I turned around to see one of Logans "girl friends(?)" Alex. She tells me this exactly "Oh, Logans in my lunch" then at the end of that statement she does the "Bitchest" smile ever. I have never liked this girl for the fact the first time I met her she was texted Logan (definitely flirting) and when I was walking to class one day I saw he and waved and she gave me the "stank eye." Also, she told Logan she wanted to lose her "virginity" to him. Im not trying to sound dramatic, but really, she is evil! So I finish my quest to see Logan at lunch and as I walk up I see Logan having this little puppy dog (Kara) following him. Kara is nice but honestly she is a whore, she liked Logan in the beginning of the year, she kissed him, and her and her boyfriend just broke up. She was giving him money and they were eating skittles and I could just feel the flirting radiate off of her as I walked up. I was super pissed, when I walked up it was almost like she was shoving it in my face. Knowing Im "pissed" Logan follows me to my locker. As we were walking he was trying to hold me and I threw him off because I wasn't in the mood. We got in this argument over that whole thing. He didn't even realize she was flirting with him (which I laughed about). I trust Logan with everything I got but I dont trust the "WHORES" he hangs out with. Just my luck for him to have lunch with every girl who liked him.The one guy that would make him super jealous is Conner but he has that lunch too and the boys in my lunch are not worth trying to work with.I was telling everyone this story in front of him. I know hurt him and then the fact I acted like it was joke. I told him that even if he proposed to me today I would deny it. But I didn't mean because I know if he didn't I would accept with no hesitation. It really hurt me so naturally I become very "bitch" like. I calmed down after a while and I knew I did wrong and apologized. Im just curious on what will happen at lunch tomorrow.
3.Later that day my boyfriend was acting completely depressed, so I got worried. Then he started claiming something ways wrong with him when nothing is. When got in an argument when I got home because we were "skyping" and I was posting pictures on "Facebook" because he looked so cute. He freaked out saying he looked bad and ugly. I told him that how he looks to others shouldn't matter, he should care if I think he is cute. He said he thought I would think he looked bad, but why would I post them if I thought he was ugly? Posting pictures from Skype of my boyfriend and I is like one of those little things I have always wanted to do. He thought that he hurt me because of his reaction to it. Now he is super depressed.
4. Later, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend saying this:
Leah, theres something I want to tell you and you dont have to care or whatever but here it is I have a girlfriend i just figured you should know.
I know we stopped dating and it was only right. Im sure guys are all over you now anyways.
I never meant to be a jerk, Ill be there to support you if you when you need me.
Leah do you understand?
I didn't text back. That really hurt me and I dont know why. I thought I was over him yet Im so upset he has a new girlfriend. I didn't know what to say one part of me wanted to say "Fuck you! Go fuck yourself you faggot!" The other part of me wanted to say "Thats good, I hope your happy and also so do I." After I calmed down I looked on Facebook to see if he had the relationship status and any the "new girlfriend" posted on his wall or commented on anything. On the status from our relationship that said "Engaged to single" some girl commented say "Really? Still ;)" I clicked the linked to the girls page because I can obviously read the signs and it turns out to be his ex-girlfriend friend who I met at the mall with him once. I was worried about his ex-girlfriend not her friend. I care about him and love him, but not like a datable way.
For some reason the fact that Darren has a new girlfriend (which I dont know why it hurt me so much), Logans depression, and girl problems really hurt me today. With Darren I wont text him for a while till I know how I feel then tell him. That wont stop me from putting up the new relationship status. Also, im never going to leave Logan. I love him to much to leave over something this small, its just a little bump in our life.
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