I'm Getting Desperate

It's finally gotten to the point that I feel like a stranger in my own home. I hide in my room most of the day just trying to avoid the confrontation waiting around every corner. They don't understand. 

I feel like the outcast of my family. The one puzzle piece thats rejected by the rest. The looks I receive only further push me away. I refuse to conform to their expectations. Apparently that makes me the black sheep.

I'm independent, I like being on my own. But obviously that doesn't suit them. They expect me to socialize with them but when I try they don't listen. My thoughts, opinions, and words go unnoticed and unheard. They don't matter. 

I don't matter.

Music is my life. It's my reason to live. They just can't seem to comprehend that. According to them I listen to it too much. 

What else can I do to block out their blatant mockery? 

I don't belong here. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

They love to criticize, criticizing is their favorite hobby.

"Why do you hide in your room?"

"Put the iPod away."

"Turn off that noise."

"That isn't done right, now you can go redo it." 

The list only gets longer and more frustrating. I can't do anything right. They can never be pleased.

As if I didn't have enough stress in my life.

I can feel the anger growing inside of me. And I have no idea how to get rid of it. I feel like screaming. Breaking something or ripping my hair out are also possibilities at this moment.

At this point I cant even put into words how I feel. I want to give up. 

I'm desperate for a way out.