Does The Whole World Hate Me?

I woke up every morning waiting for the moment he steps foot on the bus. For the first couple months all i could do was stare at him from afar, wishing it was me he was holding instead of her. I'm not quite sure how we first talked. It's all a blur. We started by simple chat in the hallways and saying hi on the bus. I got my first hug about a week after we became sort of friends. It was amazing to finally get to hold you, even if it was only for a moment. I could see the jealous stares you girlfriend gave me as time passed. We became closer. You made it hard to concertrate in class. I got so anxious to see you. I didn't think i'd ever have a chance with you until the day you kissed me. It wasn't a kiss on the lips, just a tender kiss on the neck when you gave me a hug. It blew my mind. That was all i could think about for the next week. Now its become a usual thing. With every hug comes a kiss on the neck. When i heard you had broken up with your girlfriend i was exstatic. We hung out even more and you started sitting with me on the bus. Last week when we were walking down the hall, you said you had to go tell you ex something. You expected to be bitched at. I was okay with that. The next thing i know, you and her are making out in front of the bus. I was devestated. That night I got my heart crushed by my best friend and cried my eyes out. I couldn't believe it. The next couple weeks weren't the same. I felt i couldn't trust you. I got over it after the new semester started. We had first block together and you always gave me cute looks from across the room. We still sat together on the bus. A couple days ago when you got on the bus you told me about a dream you had. You said in the dream we were holding hands on the bus. I though hey we always do that. Then you said i kissed you. I was kinda shocked but i did want to kiss him so his dreams were telling him for me. Later on in first block you told me you wished i had kissed you for real. I told you i couldnt do that. You asked why and all i could say was because of her. I think you got the jist. She was causing all our troubles. We started sitting by each other in first block and we would hold hands and i would help you with your drawings. I was cute but not enough. Today you sat by me and we drew our outlines. You but you hand on my thigh. I have to say it turned me on. you kept moving you hand closer to my area. Its not that i opposed it just all i could think was why are you doing this when you have her? You always tell me how much you love me and not to say we wont ever have a chance. Yet you're still with her. Everytime I walk by you in the halls your kissing her. Do you understand how much seeing you with her kills me. I hate being the other girl. It's time you chose. Me or her?