I wasn`t entirely prepared for this

You know how breaking up is really supposed to suck?

In the two times that I'd done it before, I didn't think that it was all that bad. I mean, the first relationship wasn't even a real relationship, so I guess that's why. And the first break-up of the second one wasn't that bad either... I guess because he was far away and pissing me off.

But in any case, I wasn't at all ready for how truly awful this would turn out to be.

I think it's mostly because he's one of my best friends, not to mention one of my roommates. Even if I don't want to be around him, I honestly have no choice.

We're no longer in the same program, but we still have some classes in the same building, at around the same time.

This morning, for instance, we both had class in one of the engineering buildings (durr, enginerds much?). I had no idea how to act on the walk over, so I just left without him. He fully told me, "Hey, wait up, I'll just be a second," but I straight up left because I panicked.

Aww, fucking fuck.

I'm still sad about it, which I suppose is natural - we only dated for about a year. I didn't even really want to break up with him per se; there were just so many things wrong with the relationship that we both knew wasn't going anywhere that I thought it was best to leave it be now instead of later.

Which leaves me with not only the problem of not being able to go to one of my best friends about how shitty I'm feeling, but I also need to find somewhere else to live. If the don applications weren't over, I could have done that. I know that I would have at least been interviewed - no engineer in their right mind wants to be a don. Least of all because they'd end up getting eng floor. I honestly can't think of anything worse than that floor. But anyway.

Some of my friends from rez last year want me to move in with them, but they live too damn far from campus. I am not walking back home in the dark through the sketchiest part of town every night because of incredibly cheap rent! Also, none of my furniture would fit in the rooms of their house and I hate one of their roommates. Because she's a whiny little bitch.

I've been resisting the urge to post depressing and whiny song lyrics as my Facebook status. Actually, that's an urge I attempt to resist as much as possible in general, just because I find it really annoying when other people do it.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I just don't know what to do with myself.