Eottoke (what should i do)?

What should i do?
I hate being like this... I hate the fact that I'm a nice person and I care for others so much... and for what? To get hurt in the end? To have to people I love and care about, turn their backs and say that the friendship we had is over? Eottoke (what should i do)?

I have no clue what to do anymore... I've been crying nonstop for the past week...

I've never hated my birthday this much before... having my friend tell me that our friendship was over... well I'm sure you can imagine how much that sucked...
and i know, "Friends come and go" or "She wasn't a good friend if she did that" and i shouldn't worry so much about it... but... she was my best friend... We've been through so much together that one can't forget... she even helped me out of a bad place a while back... and yet this happened...

there's only one thing I can call myself right now... babo (idiot)....
Why do I keep trying to fix thing? Why can't I just let it go? *laughs* coz, I'm a total idiot...

I honestly don't know why I'm doing this, what happened, happened... not much I can do about it now... I apologize for wasting your time. This was just pointless... I guess I just needed to get it out or something...

again, I'm sorry.