Rant about appearances.

okay. So i'm a blogger. I use Tumblr near enough on a daily basis. And lately everytime I do I feel shit about myself. It's not just Tumblr. But it's a good example. You see girls who look unimaginable pretty and then I look at myself and just think "WTF. Why can't I look like that?!" and I don't mean in the jokey way. I whole heartedly mean it. I would give ANYTHING to look like someone else. Or to be skinnier. Or to be Happier about myself. I mean. My school organise trips. And one of the popular trips is to go to Water World. A popular water park. Now. My friends are all skinny and pretty and can wear bikini's and things. Me, I'm too fat to. I hate it. I hate my body. And every single day I look in the mirror and wish I could change it. That's one thing that will always make me upset. We do a science experiment in Biology and you have to weigh yourself and all I want to do is cry. We're doing about things we hate in English and someone says 'FAT PEOPLE' and I just can't help but think "Oh great! Thanks for that." and I just want to curl up and cry.
I have times I go through where i just sit every night and think about what it would be like to look like someone else. and just cry. I've actually joined a gym to try and get myself skinnier before school goes to waterworld. Because I know for a fact If i'm not happy with myself then I'm not going. I just feel like I can't talk to anyone about it either because they may think they understand but they don't. So I keep it to myself. I'm even too afraid to talk to my mum about it so here I am ranting to all of you on Mibba.

Yeah. I'm sorry. that turned into alot of shit. But Had to get it out sometime..