I had the WORST dream.

My worst nightmare is having the one you love find out that you're not all that they thought you were, and then they go off and find someone better than you.

I don't know if that's all that common, but it's one of my WORST NIGHTMARES. Along with being buried alive by a psycho rapist who lives in his mother's basement while his poor, selfless mother slaves over a hot, fresh pile of fish sticks ever Tuesday and Thursday night... But that's beside the point.

So, yes. I dreamt that she fell in love with her ex-boyfriend again. There I was, in the sidelines again. The truth is... I don't think I could handle seegin her with him again. It would be like me trying to hold up an 18 wheeler filled with tapirs.

So, I have come to this conclusion: If she was to ever be with someone else, I'd have to... I actually don't know. I wouldn't be able to stand it. I'd cry, for one (which I did last night).

It's funny, though... We aren't even dating. Despite that fact that we love with each other... a lot. I honeslty haven't felt this way before. It's an amazing feeling. I smile all the time when I'm around her. I don't look at anyone else the same, either. She's the only one I really see.

If that makes any sense... It's weird. I don't have enough experience in relationships in general to really know about them. I just know a lot about them from other people's experiences/mistakes.

But, whatever. This is my venting journal. I've been meaning to write one, and haven't. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.