Titles aren't necessary are they? Well if they are I would prefer to ignore them anyways.

You know, to be honest simplicity is generally easy and decently nice but it is not always the case. Which is why I am writing this "journal" entry. Weather or not people actually will bother to read this is completely up to them. To those who do take the time to read this, if at any point of time this bores you, annoys you, or any other feeling that would make you rather read or do something else then there is nothing saying you can not leave. :3

Now with that said and done I can move on.

I no longer know even which direction my life is moving along. I barely know who I am. I'm starting to doubt if my "friends" even consider me that. A fair few of which will be speaking with me and turn around and talk to someone else leaving myself as the awkward penguin standing before them that has no other choice but to leave. I find my release in art but even now it's hard for me to get an idea or any sot of inspiration and even when I do acquire some form of inspiration I can not draw what I am thinking and get frustrated. Causing my self to give up. I may sound whiny or petty but one girl i have known for nearly 6 years. pretty much since I moved to a different part of town, used to "like me around the 3rd year i had known her but knowing how I am. I simply over looked the fact once I had found out. now for the 2 most recent years I have known her I have started to acquire feelings for her around a year after the time which she stopped "liking" me. This being all fine I hoped to one day be with her for a little bit but then (I should have been expecting this) "he" came along and they started to date. It has been about 7 months since they started to date and I can not get the feelings of rage, jealousy, etc out of made head that he has caused without knowing it. You may think the "rage" is a little out of hand but it is a mixture of all the things that have gone "wrong" previously in my life and what has been born of my jealousy. I know I am powerless within all of this but I can honestly say without hesitation that I am truly afraid of freaking out and letting all of the hatred and rage that I may have kept out of my head. I can already tell that I am starting to become less polite and more so violent with the way I react. I AM AFRAID and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I can still rest assured that I still have true friends left. Friends of the past that have yet to leave my side or at least from my end of the perspective.

That was my little rant i guess you could call it. I am not going to look it over to see how it is. I am leaving it up to you with how you take it in. If any of my friends read this I want you to know that i Love you! <3

(if anyone would see it I would think they would be Jessa, Lyndsay, and Courtney)