Tangled Thoughts

I’ve been spending way too much time on other people, and I hurt. I hurt because I want to save everyone, but I can’t. I hurt because I’m in love with someone I’ll never have again. and I just want to break down and cry, and ignore everything, but I can’t. I have to be strong. I have to shut up and smile, grow up, man up, deal with it. And I don’t know if I can handle this anymore, but I have to, I have no choice, and so I sit and I smile, and everyone thinks I’m okay. Everyone thinks I’m happy. But I’m not, and I hate this. I hate feeling this way and I don’t know how to be happy anymore, and I wish I could just sleep. Because I haven’t been sleeping lately. And I’m just tired is all, but I can’t sleep. So instead of sleeping, I lay awake all night, just thinking, trapped inside my head. That isn't a good thing, because my mind at night is a scary place to be..